5 more things that may cause my untimely death (a follow-up to this blog):
1. Drowning in knee-high ocean waves (or the world’s smallest undertow).
2. Tylenol PM overdose.
3. Stomach explosion caused by tapioca-ball-expansion.
4. Bored to death. For real, though.
5. Glitter poisoning.
…is this.
1. Crack Snack™. Cheeto-flavored edible undies.
2. S.C.F.G.W.D.S. (Skateboarding Club For Girls Who Don’t Skateboard.) It’s a social club. Yes, we’re on MySpace. And by “we” I mean “me”.
3. Bra-cket™ or Itty Bitty Titty Pretty™ or maybe Breast Purse Ever™. Either way, they are fancy and fill-able bra pads for putting your money, ID and phone numbers into while you’re out.
4. Boy Bands™. Yet another underwear idea—boyish underwear for girls packaged in old *NSync CD cases.
5. Barbie-Q™. Bubble-gum-pink barbecues for carnivorous blondes.
Dear Advertising,
I’m breaking up with you. Again.
Condolences,
Jessica Coulter
ps: It’s not me, it’s you.
pps: Fine, we can stay together. But just know that I’m TOTALLY picturing something else when we do it.
5. Terrorism
4. Cancer
3. Global Warming
2. World Hunger
1. When people refer to pizza as ‘za.
happy 6th non-wedding anniversary, husband.
